by Jennifer Merritt
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In 2003, Lori Rill, a teacher in Harrisburg, PA, enrolled in Pennsylvania State University's World Campus online program to pursue her second master's degree in curriculum and instruction. At the time, she was on professional sabbatical leave to take classes full-time while caring for her child on the way. She entered the program knowing it would provide her with the flexibility she needed once her baby was born.
"I needed the convenience of [online learning]," says the 35-year-old. "There would have been no way I could have left to go to class a few days a week."
Lori says the hardest part about her first semester was adjusting to the workload. Then, in her second semester, her son Seth was born. Luckily, she had informed her professors of her impending birth, so they wouldn't worry when she mysteriously stopped participating in class. "They were extremely understanding," Lori says. "In fact, some of them were in the same situation."
Things got more complicated for Lori would as she led her dual life as an online learner and new mom. After her son was born, Lori took only one class a semester, then went to two classes a semester, and now is back to work full-time with plans to take one class over the summer. The shift has bumped Lori's graduation date from 2005 to 2006.
"People say I should've taken more classes when [Seth] was an infant," Lori says, whose son is now 16 months old. "But it was exhausting because I couldn't always nap when he was.
"It wasn't easy," she continues, adding how lucky she is to have the support of her husband. "It required time and effort. Some nights I was [studying] when I'd rather be sleeping. I'm the type of person to give up sleep for study."
The downshift also forced Lori to say goodbye to the group of online learners with whom she began the program. She and her advisor had numerous talks about finding a way to keep Lori with her cohort, but found no viable solution.
"I e-mailed all of them about my decision," she says, "and the responses I got back were very thoughtful and meaningful to me." Lori's sadness about the group moving on without her is discernable. "I wish there were other options - that I could still join them," she says.
Friends weren't the only things Lori had to give up. The self-professed "Type A" personality also had to learn to give up control over when and where she could study.
"I had to learn that I couldn't say 'I'm going to study from 3-5 p.m. before my husband comes home from work,'" she says. "I had to work 10 minutes here, 20 minutes there."
Lori found the best time for her to study was during Seth's first nap of the day, from 9-10:30 a.m. But, as any mom will tell you, things don't always go according to plan.
"If I couldn't do everything that I had to do that day, it had to be OK," she explains. "If I couldn't give my best, less than my best had to be good enough."
For Lori, giving less in the classroom (although she still managed to earn A's) was a result of giving more to her son. "My responsibility is to take care of my son and to take care of the household," she says. "[Distance learning] allowed me to stay home with him. It was the best decision."
Staying Balanced
- Enlist a spouse, family, or friends to help with chores while you study.
- Lori and her husband set aside one night a week that is exclusively for them - even if it's just staying home and watching TV.
- Use what you've got - if there are professors or classmates in similar situations, ask for advice on how they handle things.
Moms Learn, Moms Lead
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