Whether newlyweds, busy professionals, or empty-nesters, couples can share a new passion together: education
By Emily Wengert
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Though they work in rooms of their house that couldn't get farther away from each other, Stefanie and Bill insist this self-imposed exile is not the sign of marital doom.
The Hendersons willingly choose to spend the time alone because it gets them both closer to the goal of an online master's degree from the University of Massachusetts. And, working on it at the same time, they say, helps them accomplish that goal more easily.
"I'm glad we're both in classes. We really keep each other grounded," Stefanie says. "I think I would be easily persuaded to goof off a little otherwise. But we reserve special time when we can do our studying, our projects, and our papers."
Bill decided to go back to school first, leaving Stefanie sitting there "twiddling her thumbs" while her new husband studied. That's when she decided to look into coursework for herself; she started one semester after Bill.
"We come home from work, have dinner together, and then we say 'See you at 11!'" says Bill, who is working on an MBA to grow within his career as a toy designer. Stefanie is working toward a master's of education in instructional design.
Because of the flexibility in online learning, the two can schedule their schoolwork, but still spend plenty of time together.
During their studies, they'll "talk" via computer to check in with each other: "Wanna come up for a little ice cream?" "I'm getting a drink. Need anything?" or "What time you closing down?"
Though it may be a bit unconventional, Bill and Stefanie know they have to answer to each other, so they keep the other on track when their focus might otherwise waver.
Educational Compromising
Finding that focus may be a challenge, but with family support and determination, it is possible. "You just need a little bit of patience," quips Pramod Verma. And patience is exactly what this man has. Verma, a full-time employee for Hewlett-Packard, husband, father of two, and current graduate student, barely has a moment to himself in between his day job, his parenting, and his studies.
But Verma isn't the only one in the family getting his master's. Between full-time employment and the endless job of raising six year-old Anisha and six month-old Eashan, both Verma and his wife are playing the roles of part-time students.
"The reason I started in school again was because I had been in IT for a long time," says Pramod, a computer engineer with 10 years of IT experience already under his belt. "To succeed in today's marketplace, I needed some sort of business background. My wife already had two master's degrees and I felt that I should also have a graduate degree completed."
With one child already in school and a new baby on the way, Pramod knew that a return to school absolutely had to fit in with his work and home schedules. "I knew if I prolonged it," he explains, "it would have been tougher and tougher."
Pramod began his back-to-school endeavor in a traditional classroom, but soon found that campus classes did not give him the time nor the flexibility he needed to take care of family dinners, diaper changes, and bedtime stories after a long day at the office.
After just a few courses, Pramod made the switch to online studies. That decision also gave his wife the ability to pursue her master's degree in professional accounting
"I felt very uncomfortable going into class, not getting to see my family. That was very hard for me," he says. "My wife was also taking [traditional] classes at the time. Both of us doing it was too hard."
That is, until Pramod took to the cyber classroom. Earning a master's degree in business management through Strayer University meant the freedom to be a full-time IT technician and a full-time father. "I can do my classes and submit my assignments whenever I want. I can just download my lectures and then go to them one by one [within] the flexibility of my schedule," says Pramod. "Online study saves me time."
Empty Nesters
The Hendersons decided to sign up for schooling before they had children. Howard Koffman and his wife are on the opposite end of the spectrum. They headed back to school because their children had left the house for college.
"My wife challenged me: 'If I'm going to do it, why don't you do it?'" Howard says. "She set me up for an interview."
Although Howard was 48 at the time, he took on the challenge, deciding to fulfill a lifelong goal and attend a master's in business administration classroom program offered by the University of Phoenix. His wife, meanwhile, is earning her master's in nursing online at the same school after more than two decades as an RN.
Both have excelled in their respective programs, and explain that the pride extends beyond the classroom. Howard and his wife believe their drive to complete their master's sets a good example for their son and daughter.
"We tell them, 'You don't have to work full time, so we expect better grades and better performance out of you kids,'" Howard says.
Though his whole family is doing well in school, Howard says he likes to gloat that he's got the highest GPA among them - 3.96. He said that was hardly the case when he was an undergraduate: "I really coasted for three years in college."
As a learner later in life, Howard has found he questions things more and pushes his classmates, all younger, to work as hard as he does.
"I probably could have taken the easy way out, but I find I'm happy I didn't," he says. "I don't think there's a wrong time to go back [to school], but there's certainly a right time. This timeframe is working out for us."
Next July, Howard and his wife plan to fly to Phoenix to walk together in the graduation ceremony - one more way to support each other's educational goals to their sweet conclusion, and live happily ever after.
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